I'm going on Fox TV's "Mike and Juliet Show" this morning to discuss Idol. Here's what I'm thinking right now:

The contestants are getting desperate.

Chris Richardson's post-performance tantrum about how he really meant to sing "nasal" was embarrassing - and his invoking the tragedy at Virginia Tech was inappropriate. Yes, the camera caught Simon rolling his eyes at Chris. Although Simon clearly was not rolling his eyes at the tragedy, this could prove to be a costly camera move. The producers obviously swept in for damage control and asked Simon to express his own sorrow later in the show. It was an awkward moment.

LaKisha's latest mention about how difficult life is raising Brionne as a single mom is pushing it. I have always been a LaKisha fan and when Martina McBride lavished praise on her, I was excited. Unfortunately, when Jesus took the wheel this time, the car careened out of control. (Worse than Eddie Griffin in that Ferrari.)

As for Sanjaya, the Willie Nelson/Isaac Mizrahi doo-rag was a disappointment. It was a stunt and a shameless pander to the VFTW/Howard Stern crowd. Last week Sanjaya made a valiant and successful attempt to sing well. He was headed toward a coup, bucking the cynics who scoffed at him. Now we're not sure who Sanjaya is: Is he the guy who really wants to be an American Idol and prove himself? Or is he the jaded jokester, willing to debase himself to stay in this competition? Is he Mario Lopez ... or is he Dustin Diamond?

I feel vindicated now that Simon has called Melinda on her "Who, me?" shy act.

I'm a huge fan of Martina McBride's and look forward to her performance tonight. I expect we'll all have shpilkes in our geneckteckessoink. (Until last night Kinky Friedman was the only country singer to use the word "verklempt.")

UPDATE: I just returned from the Fox "Mike and Juliet" Idol panel. It included Season Three's Jasmine Trias (very charming) and Food Network's Paula Deen (very "country"). Outside the studio Paula wore a floor-length fur coat. Raccoon? (Presumably she spit roasted whatever animal she killed for that thing.) Jasmine was surprisingly outspoken on the subject of ethnocentric American Idol voting. She asserts that she went as far as she did by galvanizing the Polynesian vote. I pointed out that she was the only thing residents of Guam and American Samoans (two groups which historically have hated each other) could both agree to like.

As much as I like Sanjaya, I'm willing to entertain the possibility that he's survived to this point in the competition by fraudulent means. Among the theories being floated: secret Indian call centers with Sanjanistas feverishly dialing ... when they should be dealing with American credit card complaints.

Watch my investigation below.

Sanjaya's story gets better. The guy could have decided to remain mediocre (or worse) and ride the VFTW and Howard Stern wave, which should have surely gotten him through a few more episodes. Likewise he could have gone freakier with the hair. (I was convinced that he'd come out in full Shakira mode for tonight's Latin show.)

Instead he faked us all out ... and turned in the best performance of the night.

Yes, the best. Maybe not technically. But he totally connected with the camera, like an old pro. He didn't stare into the camera like a zombie. Completely relaxed, he sang to people at home and managed to sell an intimate song intimately. Remember, this is a 17 year old guy who's been raked over the coals and mocked 24/7 for the last month!

I'll give JLo some credit. She seemed to sincerely believe in him. Until this point I was ready to blame her for the blandness of the other performances.

I think Phil is going tomorrow. The judges came down too hard on Haley and that may provoke a backlash on her behalf. Phil was boring and pulled out the "I have a cute baby" card. That's annoying.

I am bereft. I am in Columbia, SC's airport. (Consolation: Free internet access!) But I was unable to watch Idol last night. I've had to make do with YouTube clips. Is this how the kids watch Idol?

Thank goodness Sanjaya's performance of "Cheek to Cheek" was posted. Once again Sanjaya was shrewd - brilliant! - in selecting his song. "Heaven, I'm in Heaven," the song begins. We don't know if Sanjaya is a practicing Hindu. But it should be noted that heaven is not a focal point in Hinduism - just a temporary state known as swarga loka - in the reincarnation cycle. (Ooh, I do love the idea of a reincarnated Sanjaya coming back to perform in American Idol season 112 - getting sneered at by Simon's wickedly mean great-granddaughter. Of course by that point the show will be broadcast from Bangalore and the dark horse contestant will be an immigrant from Alabama.) In any case, Sanjaya's homage to "Heaven" was a calculated reassurance to Christian voters that he respects their theology.

On a less spiritual plane, it's worth remembering that the magnificent and notoriously grumpy Irving Berlin (composer of "Cheek to Cheek" for the 1935 movie musical "Top Hat") called Fred Astaire, who originally sang the song, his favorite singer. Astaire was not a singer. Like Sanjaya he had a thin, quavering voice. But he felt the lyrics. He had heart. And heart is Sanjaya's selling point.

(Photos: Fox/AP)

Forget about Sanjaya. The real sensation in the Malakar family is Shyamali! Look, I'm a bad man, but it's not just her singing voice that has me interested in Shyamali. If you watch the video below, you will see what I'm talking about.



For another great look at her, check out this picture of her in a Hooters outfit (and is she wearing anything in that picture with the guitar?). So wrong, so right!

I now have her at #7 hottest woman on the planet. What do you think -- is it okay to be turned on by Sanjaya's sister?

Watch The Young Turks

This morning I rushed into my office minutes before an emergency conference call. (A shipment due to arrive in Ft. Wayne was re-routed through Indianapolis for no known reason.) As I swept past my secretary Peggy, I thought I heard her sigh, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Curious, I thought, but I had no time to respond. Once the call ended (one of our reps drove out to Indy for the pickup), Peggy came in to bring me my coffee.

"What did you mean by "If it ain't broke, don't fix it," Peggy?"
"What do you think?" she countered. "I think Randy Jackson muffed the whole thing up."

An intriguing theory. Peggy's point:

American Idol is a delicate balance - a formula that's worked brilliantly since its beginning. Simon is acerbic, tough and no nonsense. Paula is the wacky mom with a heart of gold. (Simon and Paula are the comic relief, too. The sparring "lovers.") But Randy's role has always been crucial. He's sometimes been characterized as neutral or simply repeating Simon's criticisms in blander terms. Wrong. He has been the all-important straight man, but he's also been the supportive friend - not unconditionally loving like Paula, but constructive. An optimist who realistically looks for the best in each performer. (It's why historically Ryan asks Randy for "advice" for faltering contestants.) For many Americans, he's the point of identification on the panel.

But this season Randy chose to reinvent himself as Simon 2.0. At no point was the new Randy more wincingly mean than after Sanjaya's performance of "Ain't No Mountain High Enough." He was more than mean. He was contemptuous. He called the song "unlistenable" and laughed at Sanjaya, then sneered about his hair. Rather than defend Sanjaya, he stoked the crowd to mock him further.

(Randy should have taken a cue from Diana Ross, a legend who surmounted unparalled hurdles as an African-American. In the video intro, it was clear that Ross could sympathize with the special pressures faced by Sanjaya, AI's first Indian-American finalist.)

Peggy is convinced that the backlash that has now brought AI to the brink began at that moment. Sanjaya was defenseless before the mob.

"I half expected the crowd to yell 'We want Barabbas!'" said Peggy. "And Randy was weaker than Pontius Pilate."

Do you hear that creaking sound? I do. It's more like a low rumbling. It's the sound of an Empire collapsing.


60 years after Mohandas Gandhi's civil disobedience movement led to the end of British rule in India, the gentle Sanjaya is just as peacefully (if less than tunefully) bringing Viceroy Simon to heel.

American Idol is an institution built on an ideal: the most talented singer wins. In the end, all it has is its credibility. That's been crippled now, perhaps beyond all repair. And once the tipping point is reached (one week from now? Two?), HMS Idol will sink fast.

I've written extensively about the stunning parallels between Gandhi and Sanjaya. (Of course their hair is a contrast, though Sanjaya has at least one more week to debut a chrome dome. This I would not advise. Sanjaya's eyes are too closely set to pull off a bald look.)

[The following is an analysis of Tuesday's show. For my commentary on Wednesday's Results Show, click here.]

This was one of those episodes where everyone came out looking better. For me it started with Access Hollywood, where the troubled Ashley Ferl (last week's crying girl) was given a makeover. They hooked her up with with Lindsay Lohan's stylist and a makeup artist. By the time they finished tarting her up, she'd gone from looking like Jodie Foster in "Nell" to Jodie Foster in "Taxi Driver." (I think that's an improvement.)

I was skeptical of Gwen Stefani as coach - what with the over-the-top introductory infomercial - and the night's very nebulous theme (music that's inspired Gwen Stefani?). But I fell in LOVE with her by the end. She was warm to the contestants, clear in her advice and quite prescient. (She knew Chris would have trouble with tempo.) She's obviously very smart. She knows that maintaining a remote and icy hipster image would only leave her stalled in the 90s. Being nice is "now."

Quick takes: Haley disappointed with True Colors, though she looked luscious. Like a really hot hostess at Houston's. (Houston's by the way has an amazing Spinach and Artichoke Dip. Click here for the recipe.) Phil Stacey was only okay, though his wife seems very nice. She looks like Mary Lynn Rajskub from "24." Blake was very good. The camera held on his last exchange with Gwen, I suppose to suggest that they slept with each other afterward. That may account for Paula's rabid enthusiasm after his performance. (Don't be fooled, she's competitive.) Chris Richardson was kind of boring. In theory I like his "Friday Night Lights" grit but in reality it's just flat.

I'm writing this as I watch the stunning results show. I'm not surprised that Stephanie and Chris Richardson are in the bottom two. In politics there are subjects known as hot buttons. They include the death penalty, gun control, the middle east. These are issues that get people hot under the collar, whatever their stands.

Stephanie and Chris R. are not hot buttons. They're more like deficit reduction or social security - issues we're supposed to get excited about but never do.

Sanjaya, on the other, is a flashpoint. He's more controversial than abortion. And like or hate him, you will never ignore him.

It's only Wednesday but I'm already annoyed with the week's rundown of reality TV. I knew it was coming, but actually watching the "Heather Mills Circus" on Dancing With The Stars made me nauseous. Is ABC so desperate to make a splash in the ratings that they cast a woman who's missing a leg? Not to mention the world loathes Heather Mills! ABC knew full well everyone would tune in, including me (I've never watched the show before this season), to see if this witch's leg would go flying.

Then last night on American Idol, Sanjaya's performance was so bad it made a little girl cry! ; ) People are only tuning into AI this season out of habit. The performances are awful, Simon's shtick is old, and Ryan's closet contents are getting old.

Tonight was a particularly rich episode of A.I. So many subtexts.

I was, of course, deeply disturbed by Ashley - the sad young girl in a constant state of near breakdown. She was meant to evoke the hysterical bobbysoxers who screamed for the Beatles on Ed Sullivan. Instead she came off as a troubled loner, unsocialized, unhinged. Like a young version of Jodie Foster's raised-by-wolves character in "Nell." Where are her parents? Perhaps she doesn't even know.

The truth is, she looked at moments like Elizabeth Smart. Why was she crying so much? Is an Amber Alert in order? (You can watch a video of her reaction at the bottom of this post.)

In the past I've used this column to criticize American parents' tendency to over-medicate their children. But in a case like this, I believe it is the responsiblity of the state to step in and take control. Ashley is a symbol of the sad isolation of America's youth and the deliquency of its parenting. Watching her break from reality play out on television will hopefully start an important conversation.



Like most Americans I was made uncomfortable by the tension between Simon and coach Peter Noone, which almost boiled over when Noone pointedly said that this "is not a singing competition." He went on to essentially say that mean Brits (like Simon) come over to the U.S., because they aren't wanted in the U.K.

I was favorably predisposed toward Noone - and resisted calling him "Peter No One" - because, well, I met him when I was 13 years old. I was in a community theater production of Pirates of Penzance and when a professional production of the same musical starring Noone came through Washington, D.C., our whole cast went backstage to meet him.

After his insolence towards Simon tonight, though, I am no longer a fan.

Now for the performances:

Dinesh D'Souza makes several interesting assertions in his piece regarding American Idol and Indian-American voters. Now I'm going to rebut them all:

First of all, he feigns indignation at even addressing the topic. He cites his work in the Reagan White House as a reason why he shouldn't even be writing on the subject. May I remind him that Reagan might have played a role in ending the Cold War, but he also starred in Bedtime for Bonzo (totally underrated, by the way)? Ronald Reagan most certainly would have loved American Idol. The man watched Little House religiously.

Secondly I've heard others call Indian-Americans the "new Jews." I'm certainly not going to bandy about labels like those. But if I did, I'd call Persian-Americans the "new Jews." In fact a Persian Jewish American is about to become mayor of Beverly Hills! He'll be the highest-ranking Iranian-born elected official in America. (I just read this in USA Today while I was walking around Universal City-Walk.)

Thirdly Indian-Americans students' excellence in math and science are perfectly consistent with watching Idol: I'm really good at math and I like Idol.

Lastly I don't believe Dinesh doesn't watch American Idol:
- He knew about Brandon.
- He was on Paula Zahn last night at 8:00pm EST - and left just in time to make it home to watch Idol. (I have sources.)

To be honest, I never thought I would be doing this. Writing about "American Idol"? For this I became a political scientist? Served in the Reagan White House? Authored seven books on public policy? Well, this is what happens when you become a blogger. Plus I blame my fellow blogger Mo Rocca for this. He has asked me to comment on Sanjaya, who just made it past Brandon, which has upset many people, because we all know that Sanjaya can't sing.

Rocca wants to know why Sanjaya Malakar is so appealing. Is it his epicene good looks? Is it the fact that he's Indian American? Mo writes, "Is Sanjaya's ascendance a sign of Indian Americans flexing their electoral muscle?"

Not really. Yes, there are now a couple of Indian Americans in this country, and we may have a high per capita income, inviting some references to Indians being "the new Jews." But Indian Americans achieve this success by working and studying hard, not by watching shows like "American Idol." So while most of America is singing along and voting, the Indians are practicing math and memorizing the periodic table. Sanjaya who?

I have to the race to airport and fly to California for an appearance on The Tonight Show tomorrow (Thursday) night so I only have a few minutes to recap last night's Idol:

My support for Sanjaya remains undiminished: his performance of "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" was no worse than Brandon Roger's slog through "You Can't Hurry Love." Rogers has to go.

Diana Ross was a fine mentor - and supporter of Sanjaya's, whom she described as love personified. Ross was shrewd to play the mothering mentor on Idol. Helped deflect the bad shadow press she gets whenever Dreamgirls is in the news. (Even though the creators of Dreamgirls insist that their musical isn't an attack on Ross and Berry Gordy, everyone knows they're just protecting themselves from a lawsuit.) She also seemed less fragile than she has in recent years. Of course I was curious to see how she'd interact with LaKisha Jones, who is the Effie/Florence Ballard of this competition. Ross was warm to her, though maybe not as warm as she was to the others.

I'll be writing more later about the pitting of Melinda Doolittle and LaKisha Jones against each other. AI has a turbulent history with African-American women singers. (See J-Hud.) These two couldn't be more different in type. How will America (specifically its white AI voters) respond to these women? Melinda is the Gladys Knight to LaKisha's Mahalia Jackson; the Barack Obama to her Al Sharpton; the MLK to her Malcolm X; the Booker T. Washington to her WEB DuBois. I'll elaborate more later!