A silent 15-minute B&W sex tape that shows Marilyn Monroe performing oral sex on an unidentified man recently sold for $1.5 million. The buyer, a New York businessman, says he'll keep the film private.

According to Reuters: "The gentleman who bought it said out of respect for Marilyn he's not going to make a joke of it and put it on the Internet and try to exploit her," said memorabilia collector Keya Morgan.

I don't know much about Anna Nicole Smith, but I have a sudden urge to write about her. I hope readers will forgive me if this post turns out to be (1) utterly foolish, (2) what everyone else has been saying, or (3) both.

When I was growing up the "blonde bombshell" heading towards a tragic end was a staple of American culture. We had at least two of them -- Marilyn Monroe and Jayne Mansfield. Around the time that Monroe and Mansfield died, Hollywood came out with two movies about Jean Harlow, an earlier version of the same tragic phenomenonl.

I may be wrong about this, but it seems to me that the movie industry isn't serving up stars in the Harlow, Monroe, Mansfield tradition anymore; nor do as many stars seem to be driving themselves over the cliff (unless you count bad politics). But presumably there's still a considerable demand for (1) dumb-acting blondes with big breasts and (2) bizarre celebrity behavior that produces a tragic end. It is therefore up to the vast pop culture outside the movie industry to come through. Into this breach rode Anna Nichole Smith. She stood and delivered, and thus earned her status as a celebrity and/or icon.

Britney Spears is involved in yet another hit and run. Plus, she got collagen injected into her lips, which will look absolutely ridiculous. And broke some dude's foot. And got all of her visitation rights stripped away by the judge she insulted. All in one day. This might be heading toward Marilyn Monroe territory. Somebody stop this runaway train.

All the details in the video below:



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Annie Leibovitz is on a roll with the offensive imagery this spring. First, there was the arguably racist Vogue cover. And now she's shot gone and taken some arguably too sexy photos (you can see more here) of 15-year-old pop sensation Miley Cyrus.

This image (right) wouldn't be a big deal if it were almost any other pop singer, but Miley Cyrus is the Good Girl Role Model in the tween/teen world. She doesn't get pregnant or go crazy or flash paparazzi or do cocaine. She is just nice and talented and having fun. And this photo makes her look more like 36-year-old Marilyn Monroe than like the friendly, wholesome young woman her fans worship.

So, inevitably, there was an outcry, especially on the heels of some other not-totally-pure bra photos of her circulating online.

For a while there, it seemed like there was celebrity gossip every moment of every day. Mel Gibson went nuts, Tom Cruise went nuts, Britney Spears went triple nuts. Then, after this winter, there was a lull. Eliot Spitzer got pinched for patronizing prostitutes, and David Paterson was funny, for a little while, but then what? Luckily, the last week has saved us from the prospect of a country without highly public idiocy. Thank Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook, but most of all thank A-Rod and Madonna. Here is my tribute to them, "Fragments from A-Rod! The Musical," at newyorker.com. A sample is below, but check out the whole thing:

MADONNA:
Remember when I dressed up
As Marilyn Monroe?
If you play your cards right
You can be DiMaggio
You know that heady feeling
When you hit a shot into the gap?
You can tell me all about it
When I shift and settle on your lap

A-ROD:
I get it
You're Madonna
You enjoy
Double entendre

Why can I not take my eyes off Lindsay Lohan?! Every step, breath, cooter flash, accident, water bottle is an effort to grab my attention and damn it its working. I curse her for being such a glorious train wreck to watch.

Recent interviews Lindsay has done with Nylon Magazine and Allure are so chock full of goodies I could post for a month but don't fret I won't torture you like that. Here are a few of the highlights:

On ending up in rehab:

Lohan, 20, tells Allure for its May issue that she had awakened at home last Jan. 17 to a house surrounded both on the ground and in the air by paparazzi.

Her therapist suggested Wonderland, up in Laurel Canyon, and once Lohan was told that paparazzi were kept out she drove there with a friend who had "more problems than I did," she recalls.

She then checked out the place and found "a quiet room, all white, with parquet, and it was different! I just felt safe," she says. "I thought, 'I'm going to stay here tonight.' And I stayed there. For a month. It was great..."

"That's my life!" She also compared herself to Marilyn Monroe and claimed to be shocked she ended up needing treatment: "It's so weird that I went to rehab. I always said I would die before I went to rehab."

On how all the press attention is ruining her chances of winning an Oscar:

"The thing about the press and why they need to leave me the [bleep] alone for a little bit is because I don't want that distraction from my work. I want to get a nomination. I want to win an Oscar. I want to be known for more than, like, going out. For being 'the party girl.' I hate that. I bust my [bleep] when I'm filming, and when I gave time off, yeah, I like to go out and dance."

At least she recognizes the problem and has decided to slow down...oh I'm so funny!

Months ago I read about a collector's edition of Barbie as Tippi Hedren in Hitchcock's The Birds. The doll supposedly was dressed as Melanie Daniels (Hedren's character) and getting attacked by birds. It sounded too good to be true.

Well, according to today's New York Post, the truth is that good. Here's a pic:



These look like the birds that attacked her as she led the escape from Bodega Bay School. Or are these the birds that attack her in the phone booth? I can't tell.

In any case, this sudden development in Hitchcock-themed Barbies is a stunning coincidence: Last week my friend Richard sent me a pic taken 13 years ago, when we went to visit Shambala, Tippi Hedren's Big Cat Preserve north of LA, in California's Antelope Valley. (Go to the Shambala website, if only to hear the stirring theme song!)

In the picture, Tippi's face (unfortunately) is turned away as she signs an autograph. I'm looking up, as if we're being attacked by birds:



When she signed my program, she drew little birds under her name, then handed it to me and said very breathily: "Now you can say you've met Tippi Hedren ... and the birds." She was of course charming and oh so delicate. (I wondered if her bones were hollow.)

Readers of this blog know how obsessed I am with The Birds, specifically the scene in the diner, my favorite in all of filmdom. Mrs. Bundy, the elderly know-it-all ornithologist, is one of cinema's great cautionary tales. (She knows nothing about birds!) You can read my analysis of that scene here and my appreciation of Suzanne Pleshette (Annie Hayworth in The Birds) here.

Back to Barbie:

What do you think of the Tippi Hedren Barbie? Is it an appropriate Christmas gift for kids? What about other specialty Barbies like Marilyn Monroe Barbie?

Here is my appearance on The O'Reilly Factor a few years ago discussing a couple of other specialty Barbies:

During my latest post about the fun Creationism Museum, I received a well appreciated comment from Marilyn, she posted a link to the Richard Dawkins Documentary "Nice Guys Finish First". She must know I''m a sucker for a good documentary.

"Reciprocal cooperation is the best survival strategy for our species"

Robert Axelrod's "The Evolution of Cooperation", examines this by using an example straight out of WWI. Here is an excerpt of his writing.
Live-and-Let-Live System in Trench Warfare in World War I

Sometimes cooperation emerges where it is least expected. During World War I, the Western Front was the scene of horrible battles for a few yards of territory. But between these battles, and even during them at other places along the five-hundred-mile line in France and Belgium, the enemy soldiers often exercised considerable restraint. A British staff officer on a tour of the trenches remarked that he was astonished to observe German soldiers walking about within rifle range behind their own line. Our men appeared to take no notice. I privately made up my mind to do away with that sort of thing when we took over; such things should not be allowed. These people evidently did not know there was a war on. Both sides apparently believed in the policy of "live and let live."

Below is a segment from the Dawkins documentary "Nice guys finish first", It starts in the sea, but it quickly moves into a visual description of what Axelrod is describing in the excerpt above. Cooperation is seen everyday on the internet as bloggers naturally send hat tips to fellow bloggers who inspire them to create a fresh post.

H/T to Marilyn, and here's a full length version of "Nice Guys Finish First"

An insurance company has run an ad about risk that has 9/11 families up in arms. The picture that accompanies the Marsh & McLennan ad, taken by Martin Schoeller, has some people thinking that there's an image of the Twin Towers hidden in the model's eyes, and that the entire ad campaign exploits the memory of the tragedy. Fox News is running a poll about the photograph. What do you think? I won't prejudice the poll by saying that I think there's no chance in hell that the image was intended to recall the World Trade Center Attack, and that Schoeller (who, full disclosure, photographs for the magazine I work for, the New Yorker) has used this technique many times before in pictures of Colin Farrell, Prince, Andre Agassi, Marilyn Manson -- one eye only -- and others.





















[Ben Greenman's acclaimed new book of fiction, A Circle is a Balloon and Compass Both, is now available. Order it here.]

This time it's John Gibson on his radio show talking about how he knew the school shooting in Ohio was done by a black kid who listened to hip hop music! Except it was a white kid. Oooops.

Then he was certain that the kid at least listened to hip-hop music (which, by the way, is not the same as gangster rap, in case Gibson is interested in knowing anything before he speaks; it's also not jazz, I know it comes as surprise to Fox News hosts when all black entertainers do not immediately break out in rap). Except the kid was a Marilyn Manson fan. Oooops.

So, Gibson desperately tried to pin this shooting on blacks or black culture, ignoring the fact that almost all school shootings in America are committed by young, white males (which also doesn't prove anything), including this one. Then, at the end, he unbelievably turns it around and tries to make the shooting seem more classy because the kid shot himself at the end. According to John Gibson, "hip-hoppers" are so cold blooded they they walk away from a shooting and do it again. Is his implication that white murderers have the decency to kill themselves afterward? Does that make it better?

It seems hard to believe he'd say these things, right? Listen for yourself:



I am not for seeing racism everywhere (I even defended Don Imus), but for those of you who refuse to see it anywhere, please tell me why Gibson went into this rant against black folks before he knew any of the facts of the case and kept it up even when it turned out it was a white kid who listened to "white" music who did the shooting?

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8:00 ET

Okay, here we go: the new kinder gentler AI is starting.

The open is quite nice: Louis Armstrong's What A Wonderful World. I love the shot of Fantasia crying. Even the shot of the jungle creature kid seemed sweet. Ooh, there's Elliott Yamin's Mom! The shot of Clay with his stalker singing Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me (Single White Idol?) was the only thing that seemed incongruous. That moment was truly too eerie to seem sweet.

The video of the young Archuleta cultists screaming in horror was priceless (though it sort of reminded me of the shots of white women freaking out at OJ's Not Guilty in 1995).

This whole "I am the Next American Idol" is very Obama era. It's all so hopeful. Lots of American flags. Ryan at the Grand Canyon.

And all the crying! (Extreme Makeover: Idol Edition?)

Will there be any of the traditional early episode derision?


8:11

Oooh! We're about to meet Kara DioGuardi, Idol's newest judge!!

Okay, here she is. She's attractive. Paula is making an effort to seem chummy with Kara, since she knows that audiences will be watching their relationship closely. Kara's hairstyle is too similar to Paula's. (Paula's publicist should get on this.)

Btw Kara is Albanian! I wonder if she knows Jim Belushi or DWTS's Tony Dovolani. (Wow, TV is overrun with Albanians.)

First buffoon of the night: Tuan Nguyen. Crazy big fro. Not a bad singer. They didn't eviscerate him, which actually seemed ... crueler than the usual trashing. They were subtler, cattier. Hmmm. Maybe this isn't going to be a nicer AI?

Kara and Paula have the same coloring: they look like cousins?

Kara is calling roll on the judges after Emily Wynn-Hughes sang. Why is she suddenly in charge? Is Kara too type-A for the panel?


8:25

Is this Axl Rose guy for real? If his teary routine is an act, he's a good actor. His name is Randy Madden. He's bad but not spectacularly bad. Okay, he's really bad.

Paula is trying to be serious, talking about "craft." That's not her niche.

His rejection is just sort of depressing. Neither funny nor instructive. It's just a more muted mean. I don't think this new tone is working.

J.B. Ahfua has a great voice. I'd love to see him in a Filipino version of Jersey Boys.

Michael Gurr is an original kind of crazy. He sounds like Peter Lorre. I think it's a put-on but it's kind of fun. Why are they playing the theme from Jaws?

Paula just put on her smart girl glasses.


8:40

Shawn Vasquez (with the glittery star earrings) singing Dionne Warwick is my favorite bad singer so far.

I like Arianna Afsar: she looks like America Ferrara.



8:54

Elijah Scarlett, the man with the horror show voice, is likable. He's a black Vincent Price.

Kara looks like an Albanian Marie Osmond.

Kara's stalker (a young Nicole Kidman in To Die For) is very irritating. Her name is Lea Marie Golde. After last season's suicide, this was a little off-putting.

Kara looks like an Albanian Lynda Carter.

I don't like the panel of four. Too many people.


9:10

So everybody loves roughneck Jeremy.

Okay, here's the heavily-hyped hooker in heels. They've been promo'ing her all night. It looks like she escaped from the set of Momma's Boys (my new FAVORITE reality show -- BRILLIANT! Jojo's mother is the second most hated person in America after Bernie Madoff.)

Her name is Katrina Darrell. Her voice is okay. Wasn't there a girl like her from Long Island a few seasons back?

Kara keeps calling people Sweetie. Now there's a little spat between Kara and Katrina, egged on by Paula who's trying too hard to show her solidarity with Kara. (They'll wait till sweeps for Paula to implode. Then Kara will take over.)

I hate Ryan's shirt. It's putty-colored.

I've got to order some food in. I just worked out and my trainer will kill me if I don't feed my muscles some protein.

9:22

Kara is an Albanian Pamela Sue Martin.

Let's not forget that Mother Teresa was an ethnic Albania. (She was born in Macedonia, not Albania.)

I like Paula's glasses. She looks like Gina Lollabrigida. (sp?)

Randy is really fading.

The girl who said the competition is a joke: was that Meghan McCain?

Why was Simon making the finger at Brianna?!! She was the girl who sang Killing Me Softly. Rewind and look!


9:35

Deanna Brown is from Kentucky. I'm going to Kentucky tomorrow. (Ugh, I have to wake up at 4am.)

Paula's eyeshadow looks great.

Kara looks like an Albanian Jayne Kennedy.

Cody Sheldon: Marilyn Manson meets Hanson. I love that he makes his own slasher porn.

Is Kara trying to affect some Albanian Barbarella look?

Well, are people liking Kara? She's not really popping for me yet. And I don't need to told that she's a songwriter ANYMORE!


9:44

Ooh, I'm not sure I like Simon's "Jaywalking" geography quiz. I always bristle when foreigners come over here to make us look stupid! And I don't like the judges' joke about "coming out of the closet." (I must add: Abkhazia is a disputed region of Georgia, not a fully recognized country.)

Wow, I really like Paula's glasses. And Alex's voice is great!

I'm calling it: Alex is going to be a star!

Kudos on the Dead or Alive losers rendition. Fun, but not cruel. I love the black Vincent Price and the Peter Lorre guy.

Almost done: If they don't send the blind guy to Hollywood, then AI truly has cojones.

9:57

Wow, they're going all out for Scott MacIntyre. A little overboard with the video package. (It's not like he's deaf.)

Gosh, I didn't think he was very good. Kara really would've broken out of the pack had she said no, in which case she would have become the Albanian Leona Helmsley. (Gabrielle astutely points out that Ryan should not try to high-five a blind person. Awkward.)

So what did everyone think? I've got to pack for Kentucky.

Last night I saw Charo. And I thought that would be the highlight of my week.

All this week I'm in Los Angeles taping interviews. I'm staying at the stunning Beverly Hilton. The hotel evokes a Hollywood when stars were stars and the Oscars mattered. (In fact the Golden Globes are held in the hotel's International Ballroom.) Poolside the polynesian-themed Trader Vic's epitomizes Mai Tai glamor.

Well today I drove into Hollywood to interview a genius rock and roll photographer named Deborah Chesher. Deborah's knockout book Everybody I Shot Is Dead (perhaps the greatest title ever) features 400 previously unreleased photos of the greatest dearly departed musicians of the 1970s: Frank Zappa, George Harrison, Waylon Jennings, Terry Kath, John Bonham, the members of Badfinger, just to name a few. During the course of the interview Deborah gave me a t-shirt with the name of the book, and I put it on.

At about 6pm tonight I returned to the Beverly Hilton to find a long line of cars. In the lobby, outside the International Ballroom, there was a big photo op. The backdrop read "Ella Awards." Before I could ask what the "Ellas" are, I saw 1950s heartthrob - and father of Debbie - Pat Boone! (I've often wondered if the Nazca Lines of Peru were ancient Incan "Love Letters in the Sand.")

I fumbled with my Blackberry so that I could get a picture, but Pat started walking away. I turned to catch up with him, when I nearly ran into ... Carol Burnett.