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McCain: 'Why is Chelsea Clinton So Ugly?'
knee-slapper, delivered by McCain at a Republican fundraiser in 1998:The fact that McCain had made the tasteless joke was reported in major newspapers, as was the vain attempt by his press secretary to initially deny what McCain had done. But in several major newspapers, the joke itself was kept a secret.This story is upsetting on several levels, which I will get into after the jump, but foremost, as a former stand-up comic, I am outraged that McCain committed a comedic cardinal sin exceeded only by theft of another comic's material. He used crummy material to get a cheap laugh. It's the ultimate hack move, right up there with name-checking the town you're performing in. Even Yakov Smirnov is trying to keep it fresh. Let's see if his new material is up to snuff. First of all, McCain needs to get his eyes checked, Chelsea's a honey. But what makes it worse is, he told the gut-buster in 1998, when Chelsea was barely 18 years old. That's right, war hero John McCain picking on a little girl. At that time, Chelsea had not entered political or public life, facts that would seem to have placed her off-limits.
Salon feels its readers deserve the unadulterated truth. Though no tape of McCain's quip has yet emerged, this is what he reportedly said:
"Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno."
Still, the whole thing could be overlooked if the joke had actually been funny. You know, like "What do John McCain's balls taste like? Depends."
Also, why were journalists so reluctant to report the content of the joke? Certainly not to spare Chelsea's feelings, as the broad strokes were as hurtful, if not more so, than the actual joke. It's hard to believe that a gaffe-obsessed media cabal would pass up such a golden nugget of hoof-mouthery.
I've got to give McCain some credit, the joke about the prisoners wasn't half-bad. Additionally, the "Bomb, bomb Iran" thing actually would have been funny, except he butchered the delivery. That, and he's seeking the authority to be able to bomb Iran, not a job at the local radio "Morning Zoo."
McCain's new material, while less cruel, is equally hackneyed, which would be easier to overlook were it not for the contrast provided by his Republican opponent and comedic superior, Mike Huckabee. Now, that guy knows how to get a laugh. Maybe they could team up. I bet President Obama will be looking for an opening act for his inauguration.
Recent Comments
(Page 1 of 2)Davidg6:06PMFeb 19th 2008
I really hope McCain didn't really say that.
Chelsea grew up to be cute anyway, that's the best revenge!
Joe6pach6:09PMFeb 19th 2008
I love it. A sense of humor.
Joe6pach6:12PMFeb 19th 2008
Only tommy christopher would know what mccain's balls tasted like. What a waste of an article. hussein obama might "borrow" some of mccain's jokes.
Roberta6:35PMFeb 19th 2008
Katherine you are such a moron. The swift boat tactics of the Shrill and Bill Klan aren't working. However, I see they are pimping you too. Don't you ever sleep. I see your crap posted all over AOL. Get a life.
Roberta6:46PMFeb 19th 2008
oh and Katherine..since you are so wooried about Obama's words. Here are a few from Hillary. We can all just imagine that we are right there as it happens.
LegalDiva0211:30PMFeb 17th 2008
I'd take Hope and inexperience over Ms. Clinton any day!
Excerpts from a book written about the racist Clintons...http://sonic.net/maledicta/clintons.html
"Lest you think I am a Republican, conservative, or member of the imaginary "vast right-wing conspiracy": I am an apolitical anti-politician. Because I despise blatantly lying politicians with all my heart, I am presenting this uncensored record of some of the filthy language and lies by the amoral Clintons -- the ex-President and the aspiring first female President."
The Foulmouthed First "Lady" & Senator
The following five quotations are from Alec Flegon's Dictionary of English Sex Quotations (London: Flegon Press, 1996):
* L.D. Brown, a member of Clinton's former security staff and bodyguard in Arkansas, stated that Hillary is "as foul-mouthed as any sailor you'd ever meet." (p. 147)
* As reported by Bill's security staff, Hillary frequently erupted in expletive-filled tirades against him. "I can't believe you would ask a fucking question like that!" Or, about his shaky driving, "You're gonna get us fucking killed!" (p. 147)
* She shouted at Bill over his unfaithfulness: "I need to be fucked more than twice a year!" (p. 170)
* Hillary to Larry Patterson, an Arkansas state trooper and Clinton bodyguard from 1986 to 1993, who was bringing a judge's wife to the Little Rock airport: "What the fuck do you think you're doing? I know who that whore is." (p. 171)
* Coming out of the Arkansas governor's mansion early morning on Labor Day 1991, Hillary screamed: "Where is the goddamn fucking flag? I want the goddamn fucking flag up every fucking morning at fucking sunrise!" (p. 173).
Patterson observed Hillary standing at the bottom of the stairs in the governor's mansion, and Bill at the top of the stairs with little Chelsea beside him, as Hillary screamed at him at the top of her lungs: "Goddamn stupid fucking fool!" [NewsMax, 15 July 2000]
Patterson stated that Bill and Hillary Clinton would frequently argue with each other using the worst expletives known to mankind, sometimes in the presence of their daughter Chelsea. Some of the anti-Semitic slurs with which she commonly laced her tirades against Bill were "Jew motherfucker," "Jew Boy" and "Jew Bastard." [NewsMax, 15 and 17 July 2000]
"If she disagreed with Bill Clinton or she disagreed with some of the Jewish community in Little Rock -- or some of the ethnic community -- she would often make these statements." "She would say 'Jew Bastard' or call her husband a 'Jew boy' or a 'motherfucking Jew'," Patterson told the WABC New York radio audience. [Carl Limbacher and NewsMax Staff, 17 July 2000]
Patterson said he heard Hillary "utter anti-Jewish epithets between 10 and 20 times over the course of his six years at the Arkansas governor's mansion." [NewsMax, 17 July 2000]
Hillary's rages continued after she took up residence in the White House, where she blew up at a Secret Service agent for declining to carry her bags. When the agent explained that he needed to keep his hands free in order to protect her, she replied: "If you want to remain on this detail, get your fucking ass over here and grab those bags." [Joyce Milton in The First Partner: Hillary Rodham Clinton (1999), p. 259]
Ed W6:58PMFeb 19th 2008
Maybe John's present lopsided face is just Karma.
Ed W7:01PMFeb 19th 2008
Maybe John's present lopsided face is just the result of Karma in action, not that he was ever Redford to begin with.
Danyal7:06PMFeb 19th 2008
Roberta6:46PMFeb 19th 2008
-------------------------------
And I notice most of the alleged language you claim Hillary uses is courtesy of Newsmax!!! An anti Hillary right wing website. If you are going to take the time to list every conversation between Hillary and her husband at least use a reliable source.
Rapsey7:09PMFeb 19th 2008
Roberta,because Kathrine has insight and you have a bubble brain you put her down , what a
Hugh7:13PMFeb 19th 2008
I hate hearing comments such as the one about Chelsea. First of all it is very insulting, insensitive, and completely out of line. I think Chelsea grew up to be a very respectable, level headed, and cute girl. I think the Clinton's did a great job protecting her from the press while in office, and I think the girl did wonders in keeping a level head under such trying circumstances.
Danyal7:17PMFeb 19th 2008
Roberta, I forgot to mention that you need to get a life or are you just devoting yourself to the L. Ron Hubbard of the 20th century (OBAMA THE CON MAN). Also you are a total idiot. And too bad it wouldn't be possible to "pimp" you much as you'd love it as its obvious you look like a cow.
Hako7:19PMFeb 19th 2008
I doubt all those quotes about Hillary are true, I've heard wilder ones, that sounded totally made-up. I'd like to think some of them are true though, because if elected, she will have to be tough as nails to face Putin, Chavez and a host of other global psychos.
Brian7:54PMFeb 19th 2008
Hillary + Janet = Chelsey? No way, Chelsey has to have some Bill in her jeans!
dottie rabon8:08PMFeb 19th 2008
I think Chelsea is cute, its a shame to make statements like that about a young girl I wonder if the people voting for Obama has taking a good look at Michelle,not a pretty picture, besides she made a statment saying this is the first time she has been proud of this country. Is that a slap in the face or what? Dottie
TruthBeKnown9:35PMFeb 19th 2008
Thank God then that Roberta confirms that at least we'd have a F**king Patriotic sailor in the White House with Hillary not some pansy asswipe mocha chocaLatte, anarchist. It is true that Hillary is known for her boys club testosterone levels, but who the heck has to fear that unless you work for her?
Macy Edwards9:59PMFeb 19th 2008
McCain is an old man who represents the old guard. Its time to let the people who are in touch take over and shame on him for being part of the problem and power freaks who have failed to move on.
Jenn12:43AMFeb 20th 2008
I'm an Obama supporter, but that's horrible criticizing Chelsea Clinton. I think she is attractive, and this election is not about someone's physical appearance. I don't know why John McCain would even attempt to joke about Chelsea Clinton. It's in bad taste!
kj8:22AMFeb 20th 2008
MCCAIN WHY!!!! This goes to show how distasteful you really are!! Your wife doesn't look like a first lady. She actually looks like you picked her up off "streets" (hint).
kj8:23AMFeb 20th 2008
I can see right through Hillary. She looks like a B.
Mccain should be ashamed of himself talking about Chelsea. He isn't a pot of gold! & the wifey looks like he got her off the streets!
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Katherine5:51PMFeb 19th 2008
Plagiarism!!!!!!Don't take Obama's word for it, it's not HIS word.
youtube----Key words: "Just Words. Just Not Obama's"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8M6x1H08aFc
The people who heard Obama's speech believed it to be HIS own words, no one knew that Deval Patrick already said the same thing last year. Obama KNEW people would think they were his own words, and he wanted that, which is why he never attributed those words to Deval Patrick.
I've been saying this for a long time people...he lacks substance, and he is just words, and if those words are not his own....HE HAS NOTHING. He's an empty suit, people. He lies.
It doesn't matter if Deval Patrick told Obama he could use his speech. If you are taking a test, and your friend gives you the answers, and you take credit for the grade you receive on that test: IT'S STILL CHEATING.
btw, Deval Patrick gives a better speech, he has more soul than Obama, maybe we should elect him....