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Brave Nation Of Half-Literate Blog Commenters
By Ken LayneJun 1st 2008 8:36PM
Filed Under:eHillary Clinton, Barack Obama, John McCain, Featured Stories, Ron Paul, 2008 President, Ralph Nader, Ken Layne's Outrage, Bob Barr
How long has this campaign dragged on? It will be two years old in November, and there's no reason to believe it will stop then.At this point, it's incredible to consider that some people haven't made up their minds. It's incredible that Hillary is still drunkenly running for president of Earth, that Smooth Barry Obama has won the nomination but has to continue campaigning for it, that a senile old fraud like John McCain is the nominee of any major party, that delusional attention whore Ralph Nader is running again, that an anti-libertarian hack like Bob Barr is the libertarian nominee, and that the libertarian candidate (Ron Paul) is sitting out the race despite amassing a fortune in campaign contributions and a delirious following.
But what's most incredible, to me, as a person who writes about this garbage for a living, is that it doesn't matter at all what I write about, because the comments will be an insane half-literate string of racist nonsense and startling ignorance that has nothing to do with the subject of this post.
Don't even bother reading the rest, just get to the comments and start pasting in your all-caps screaming lunacy. Who are you people? Who gave you people computers? Is this what Al Gore intended when he created the Internet?
The 2000 election was the first to be heavily covered by online media, and the 2004 election was the first to get overwhelming coverage from the political blogs that had sprung up like partisan mushrooms, but the 2008 election will be the first to be completely defined by the angry morons who call C-SPAN, yell idiocy at talk-radio hosts and, especially, leave hundreds of inane comments on websites.
I used to laugh at the people who predict the world will end in 2012. Now, I desperately hope it's true. The only sad thing about the 2012 Doomsday Scenario is that it supposedly won't happen until December of 2012, which means Hillary will be running for president again. But at least there won't be a 2016 election.
When space-monster archaeologists visit the ruins of Earth, they'll find a very detailed record of the 2008 campaign, preserved in the browser cache files on millions of computer hard drives. They will marvel at three-paragraph AP stories posted on CNN that somehow elicit 500 comments that have nothing to do with the story. They will wonder why so many people who can't type, spell or put together a coherent sentence nonetheless composed thousand-word freakouts about things they don't understand. But mostly, the aliens will laugh at the outrageous idiocy that defined America's voters just before the world ended:
* One party's candidate is a Scary Muslim, which is why the pastor of his Christian church is so scary to white people.
* Meanwhile, a lady continues to run for that party's nomination, because her husband was president eight years ago, so she deserves it.
* Poor, uneducated white people who go back and forth between the Democrats and the Republicans and the Reform Party, based on which candidate says the most racist stuff about Blacks and Mexicans, decide that this ultra-liberal elitist Ivy League Wellesley/Yale lawyer who lives in the richest part of New York is, actually, a working-class white-power hero.
* A nasty old jerk, born to an elitist military brass family, spends the last thirty years as a Washington insider, congressman, senator and sellout while living large on the fortune of his beer-heiress second wife. He is somehow, inexplicably, marketed as a "maverick."
* Meanwhile, the people with money and brains are so put off by these old hacks that they go crazy for the handsome young guy for the sole reason that he doesn't make them feel disgusted about politics, because he is sort of new to it.
* As America loses its long-held leadership of the world and the entire U.S. Economy literally dies and the smart money has long since moved to developing countries and wages stagnate and crushing debt hangs over everything and Americans are dumber, fatter, sicker and poorer than anyone in the modern world, the 2008 campaign was basically 24-month-long indictment of the United States as an easily manipulated nation of bigoted half-wits who will, as always, get nothing from whoever wins the White House.
Ken Layne is the editor of Wonkette.
Recent Comments
(Page 1 of 13)TJ9:21PMJun 1st 2008
KEN LAYNE, FIRST OFF, I LOVE MY CAPS.
NEXT, I THINK YOU DRANK SOMETHING TODAY, YOU'RE NOT YOUR USUAL SELF.
IN A TWISTED WAY, I WANNA DRINK SOME OF WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING. THAT WAY, I CAN JUSTIFY THE WHIRLING HEAD I GOT READING YOUR POST.
WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???
I EXPECTED YOU'D END IT ALL WITH SOMETHING LIKE
"I HATE YOU'ALL!!!"
A FEW YEARS AGO I WAS SETTLING TO BE JUST LIKE MY DAD.. .PICK UP THE MORNING PAPER AND READ THE STUDIOUS, DIDACTIC, OFTEN BORING EDITORIALS OR HARANGUE THAT LEFT ME NO CHOICE BUT WINCE WHEN I READ SOMETHING I THOUGHT WAS DAMN STUPID.
TODAY, THANKS TO AL GORE, OF COURSE, I CAN PICK UP THE KEYBOARD AND SPEW BACK, "DAMN . . .HELL NO!!"
SO WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS HAPPY RECIPROCITY, KEN?
TJ9:28PMJun 1st 2008
BTW, KEN, THE PROBLEM WITH OUR CHOICES FOR PRESIDENT IS WE HAVE TO PICK ONE. WHY DO WE HAVE TO PICK ONE???
NOW MY GIRL HILLARY MAY NOT MAKE IT, I WISH I COULD SHIP THEM BOTH---OBAMA AND MAVERICK MCCAIN TO TIMBUCTO
THEY MAKE MY HEAD WHIRL TOO.
TJ, THE CLINTONITE
Bobbi9:40PMJun 1st 2008
Well, incase you failed to notice, most of the ignorant, illiterate ranting comes from Clinton supporters... lol. How do you think she so easily manipulates them?
vlg9:43PMJun 1st 2008
These are sad days for America when only a few can silence the voices of its citizens. It is becoming too common for the will of the many to be vetoed by the will of the few. Something is broken and has to be fixed!
SOUTH DAKOTA AND MONTANA: Please make a statement for all of us. Let the pundits and the politicians know that we are not going to take it anymore! Your votes matter very much!!
In America, it's not we, the politicians; or we, the pundits. No, in America, it's WE, THE PEOPLE!
A Texan for Hillary from Day One!
Upton9:44PMJun 1st 2008
Obama will get the vast majority of the Clinton backers. Once they have time to get over their disappointment and consider the repercussions of a McCain presidency (4 more years of Bush policies) I have confidence they'll come around.
Obama, in his graciousness, will accept them with open arms as he unites the Democratic party and looks forward to a big victory in Nov.
Jon9:47PMJun 1st 2008
you forgot to mention that when the alien archeologist dig up our computers they are also going to find alot of blogs and articles from dumbass reporters that think they absolutely right and everyone else that disagrees is "half-literate". why don't you grown up and realize that if you blog about political news, be prepared to get alot of angry people. don't like it? get a different job and stop sitting on your fat ass, criticizing people that don't agree with you. feel free to retaliate and call me all sorts of names, it's your time to waste. I'll never be back here again.
csunbean9:49PMJun 1st 2008
Wow you call this literate Jouralism? I call it Opinion. You should not be writing, as anybody can rant about their opinions. No substance here.
John9:51PMJun 1st 2008
Circus of fools.Once a great nation.
vlg9:53PMJun 1st 2008
Guess what, Ken? We have just as much right to express our opinions online as you do. Wake up...people that don't agree with you aren't insane or illiterate. We just have different views and beliefs, which is what America is all about!
Peni9:54PMJun 1st 2008
Ken Layne, I laughed so hard. Funny but so true. Thanks!
joedenver609:56PMJun 1st 2008
Ken Layne.....Let it out, man...... let.. it.. out. You sound like I feel in the morning, before I get some..........I think its great that you have the opportunity to say what you feel, just to get us all riled up...What a job!!!!!! but as a proffesional, I'm sure you will look back, when you settle down and say to yourself, " Why in the world did I write this stuff....BECAUSE I LOVE IT "!!!!!!!!!!
jblsus10:00PMJun 1st 2008
It's no longer a democraacy. The democrats have made this a "numbers game" Even though Hillary Clinton won the last 7 out of 8 primaries (the last 3 by a landslide) the delegates obediently pledge their votes to Obama. It doesn't matter what the people want. The people are getting very very angry!
Old Lady USA10:02PMJun 1st 2008
Not a regular reader - now I know why...
First, Bobbi 9:40PM Jun 1st 2008, has it right - in my opinion.
Second, having followed your "dumb" link, if as Editor of Wonkette, you can't manage a server conversion without quality assurance in place, you deserve to have to read through all the "CAPPED" bombs...
I'm sure you had a point - but it did not make its way onto this post - in my opinion.
Kevin10:03PMJun 1st 2008
Oh lord, I think I nearly pissed myself laughing while I tried to read this post. And as predicted in the post, there are reams of dullards who feel compelled to ramble on about subjects they know nothing about and feel no shame about it.
Upton10:05PMJun 1st 2008
What's wrong with being put off by old hacks? One of them (Hillary) thinks she's entitled to the presidency because she's a woman, a Clinton and it's "her turn."
The other (McCain) is a cancer prone old man who can't even remember the difference between Shiite or Sunni or our troop strength in Iraq.
Our choice is clear, it's time for a change...it's time for Obama.
jblsus10:09PMJun 1st 2008
Yeah, time for a change and with Obama you get 57 states. foflmao!!
devilspeak10:12PMJun 1st 2008
yeah, an d uh, uh, i bet uh, that ken boy uh, eats arugala and has white uh, guilt, uh issues.....who in the hell does he think, uh, he is ? uh, better than us, uh, hillbillies, uh, less educated, uh white, latino's uh, women uh gun-owners, catholics, uh jews and uh, people that just dont trust or like, uh, barack hussein obama.
Peggy10:13PMJun 1st 2008
Ken, no one has yet explained to me what a "wonkette" is but the last four letters indicate it is a little something or other. Did you mean to make a point with this article. If you think you did, I would like for you to find a blogger I saw on several other posts. His name is gopherit. He drinks, too. And admits that he really likes his alcohol. He should have slept off his hangover by now, had a few more drinks and be ready for an intelligent (?) exchange with you.
C. Jenkins10:18PMJun 1st 2008
Ken,
"Hat's off to you." Whatever pumped you up, do it again.
You gave some too much credit, "half-literate."
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Gail in Orlando9:04PMJun 1st 2008
Lordy...thank you for the truth.